Anxiety. We all have it, at one point or another; chances are, however, we’re not really paying attention to how it manifests itself. Wouldn’t that make it so much easier for writers to portray it, or any other of a host of emotions? If anyone needed out-of-body experiences, it would be writers, at least once for each emotional episode they have. That would be cool.
But, perhaps the best any of us can do – at least to start practicing – is to recall a time we were anxious, and try to recreate the feeling – not so much the event itself – of what it was to be anxious. As I have a somewhat morbid attraction to anxiety, let me dip into my personal experience once again.
He never should have had coffee; it always sat like a ball of aluminum foil in his stomach, distracting him. This was not the day to be distracted, or the week, even. He sat back from his computer, trying to recall what was coming up. Three classes tomorrow, each with a reading due; but that was easy, he read through books like a chimp swings through trees. There was, however, a seven-page paper due by next week; and as much as he loved writing – and loved History of the English Language and its attendant professor, Dr. Wault – seven pages were a lot. Especially after a mid-term: that had been yesterday.
Some tests were easy, and he felt good about them when he was done. There might be one or two answers he wasn’t sure of, and a few he was only fairly certain of; but most he felt confident about. Not yesterday’s mid-term. Not to say the majority of them were a guess; but there were so many good answers, and no “all-of-the-above”s to make him feel good.
That was it. Personal, Intentional, Effectual Revelation of Reality. PIE-ROR. Well that was one he missed. Who structured an entire class around two papers and two tests? What other questions did he miss? That was the problem; he could have missed any of them. He could have even missed all of them.
He leaned forward again, trying to get the mid-term out of his mind. It was over now, wasn’t it?
He shouldn’t have had coffee. But wait; he hadn’t had any today.
See you tomorrow.
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