Pick-Up Sticks, Jenga, Juggling, Chaos

At what point does one thing become more important than another? When does focus shift from here, to there? When should focus shift? At first I thought I might liken this to pick-up sticks; now I think it is closer to Jenga: carefully, gingerly sliding each smooth wood block out, holding your breath lest the least current of air topple the tower. You need to choose your strategy: start at the base, so you work with a higher center of gravity last? Or start at the top, keeping the base strong? When is it more important to work with one block than another?

Often the phrase is used “juggling a lot of things,” trying to “keep everything up in the air.” While the frenzy of six juggling balls may evoke the proper feeling, the actual work is much simpler to those who know how to juggle: you can’t do anything with the balls in the air, only the one in your hand. The problem I sometimes find is, I have ten balls in my hand, and I don’t know which one I am supposed to loft next. To I send my writing on its ballistic orbit? Read Shakespeare? Read for Humanities, Bible, Creative Writing? Work on my blog? Or do I need to spend some time tending to my fiancée, or my relationship with God?

Because they are all important, and I love them all to nearly identical degrees. Trying to do things just as I can does resemble my attempts at juggling: I may start out okay, but then one ball arcs a little more outward than upward, and I chase after it. Meanwhile, my momentum propels the next ball even further forward. Soon I am running pell-mell; shortly, the balls drop with a crash.

Perhaps I need to let one go; but which? Can I let go of God, my fiancée, writing, college?

Unfortunately for my readers, I am not at a point of conclusion, only of recognition of a problem. I can’t tell you what to do if life seems like this. I can say “pursue God, and everything else becomes clear.” But I honestly don’t know what that looks like anymore, not without dropping a lot of other balls.

Maybe by Friday, I’ll have a better blog post. See you then.

*Thursday P.S. Psalm 57:2 "I cry out to God Most High, to God, who vindicates me." Working on this, now.*