Choices and Context

So today I thought we’d take a somewhat oblique look at why I love the English language, and writing in particular. Now, obviously, everything I’m about to say can probably apply to many of the languages of the world, and perhaps some can even do it better. But regardless.

To this stated end, I want to take you on a journey from a basic, non-descript sentence, to one which reveals character. Finally, I’ll show you one common amateur mistake, or temptation.

“A man drank tea.”

It’s a better start than some – at least this is a complete sentence – but still rather bland. We are, after all, trying to give character. So, let’s start obviously and give our random man a name.

“Richard drank tea.”

We’re getting somewhere – but let’s pick some more colorful verbs.

“Richard (sipped, gulped, swallowed, slurped, drained) tea.”

In the name of expediency, let’s advance our sentence to: “Richard sipped his tea.”

We’re coming much closer. But let’s add an adverb just to spice things up a little.

“Richard sipped his tea (slowly, cautiously, bitterly, gingerly, calmly, indifferently).”

Let’s go with: “Richard sipped his tea calmly.”

Now, to really show character, let’s put it in some context:

“Steven laughed uproariously, pounding the arm of the leather chair in delight. Richard sipped his tea calmly.”

Now we have something pointing to Richard’s character; of course, we would need a little more context to see if he lacks a sense of humor generally, or just in this specific incident – suffice to say for now Richard doesn't find this particular incident amusing.

Now for the temptation, which ensnares a lot of aspiring writers in my Creative Writing class – that is, rather than showing more context, the writers tell it.

“Steven laughed uproariously, pounding the arm of the leather chair in delight. Richard sipped his tea calmly, unappreciative of Steven’s sense of humor in this incident.” (And that may be attributing more eloquence than they deserve.)

Please, please don’t do this; let the reader discover for themselves why Richard only sips his tea calmly while Steven’s outburst continues. Let them infer, and if they get it wrong, then you need to practice getting it right. It can be difficult to say “the reader misunderstood” and place all the blame on them – after all, they read it how they see it. There are individual, and even small-group exceptions: but if the general consensus is your protagonist has no sense of humor, then he has none whether you imagined him having it or not.

It’s all about word choice and context, after all. See you Monday.