Good Monday! Continuing the series of Sneak Peeks for my anthology now at a new price of only $0.99. This excerpt is from Casualties of Wars, story #5 in the anthology, and looks at those who suffer a different kind of wounding. The inspiration for this one was a little more odd: a song by Natalie Walker called "
Empty Road." I began imagining 'hearing the sounds of an empty road' and why someone would be doing it, and eventually this popped out. I hope you enjoy it.
CASUALTIES OF WARS
Sacrificing your life does not always mean dying.
I sat alone in the window seat, in the chill air
trapped between the glass and the drapes as I gazed toward the quiet road in
front of the house. The sounds of the family of ten, of which I was the eldest,
were beginning to die down, warm cider and cheese calming toddlers eager for
the arrival of St. Nick. My mother was herding the last few, shushing them and
ordering them to their beds, when she caught sight of me.
“Jane, shouldn’t you be in bed?” she asked.
I didn’t turn immediately. “Am I a child?” I asked
quietly.
There was only silence, and I pulled the drapes
aside to look at her. Mother took a few creaking steps toward me, wiping her
hands on her apron. “Which means you should be leading the example, Jane.”
“I just want
to wait…John wrote that he might make it tonight. I just thought…”
I knew that my eyes – always shutter-less windows –
emanated the quiet and too-frequent fear that clogged my throat and parched my
tongue. My mother’s eyes, like tarnished mirrors, faintly reflected back that
worry, stirred also with drops of concern for me which occasionally pooled in
the corners. We shared the gaze, frozen as the fire cracked, for several
moments before she turned and left. It may have been a nod she parted with, or
the acceptance she conveyed only made me perceive it. I turned back to the
chill window, drawing up my legs and settling bare feet against prickling-cold
wood. I remembered John’s letter of companies marching without shoes; I prayed
his march back home this December would not be as cold as the pins that pricked
my soles.
Snow was falling lightly, the flakes ticking against
the window pane, faintly above the cracking and popping of the fire in the
hearth. It was a night for tea and buttered biscuits, not for being away from
home. Yet he was out there, somewhere. It’s funny how it happens; a year or two
ago neither of us heard much of King George, except the rare occasions when I
was allowed to go to town and I would hear when his name was appended to “Long
Live…!” Those calls seemed gradually less frequent, certainly, and garnered
more and more angry looks, and fewer and fewer mugs raised in agreement. But
father seemed hesitant to treat me as an adult even then, which went fine until
mother and I were the oldest family members still at home. I suppose my brother
Nathan was doing alright, but he was too young to replace such a man as father.
I set my feet back on the floor to try to rid them
of the chill, but the warmth of the fire reached barely farther than its glow.
My legs cast wavering shadows against the soft brown paneling below the window.
I paused to gaze at it, remembering the shadows John and I learned to cast
against that very spot as children, long before amorous thoughts entered our
minds…
The snow was falling thickly outside, promising a
pillowy blanket by morning. A carriage with swinging lanterns on its roof went
slowly by outside, travelers coming late from a to-do somewhere nearer town.
Though a full moon struggled to pierce the clouds, it was enough to see a
dark-complexioned face below the tall hat of the driver whose head bent into
the light wind. I could not see it without remembering John – but then, he
never truly left my mind.
He had always kept a clearer eye on events in the
world. I knew several of our neighbors who had Negro servants, and that seemed
fine; but John always told me that trouble was coming, down south. Sometimes it
troubled me, how much he had changed; as the snow slackened for a moment, I
remembered a night just like this barely seven years ago. I had been upstairs,
attempting to sleep, when something came tap!
against my window. I blinked and rolled over, and it came again. I got up and
went to the window; there was John in our yard below, digging through the snow
to find another pebble. He cocked his arm back before he saw me, flashing me a
grin as the stone fell from his hand. I raised the window as quietly as I could.
“Want to go sledding
on Blind Man’s Hill?” he whispered loudly, gesturing to the sled behind him.
As always, if you want to keep reading, head over here to pick up the full copy. Next up: "The Butterfly in Brazil", the story of one man whose self-absorbed actions ripple outward to everyone he sees, and a few he doesn't see. See you then!